So glad that you are here today and that we get to talk about one of the topics I think is really important. We are talking about making a permanent change in our lives so that we are happier and more fulfilled. The quote to the right of the page makes my point exactly. This is exactly how I have spent the last 3 years. Working in a job that made me really unhappy and not knowing how to get out of it without letting someone I care for down. I am certain that you do not want this to be your reality. Just the fact that you are reading this post shows your willingness to look at yourself in more depth. You want to know how to be happy with your life. We look at how to focus on what matters to you. Then we look at what we are crazy about and what really makes our lives sparkle. Lastly we look how to figure out what you want to do with your life so that you can be happy with your life.
HOW TO FOCUS ON WHAT MATTERS
The problem that we have is that we don’t actually know what is important to us, what matters the most. When someone says to you ‘how are you doing, what is your answer? Do you feel happy or sad, excited or depressed, energised or demotivated. If you are like me you were all of these at one time or another. I realised that when I am spending 75% of my time feeling like something of ‘off’, I have a problem. On lots of occasions I would ask myself “why do I feel lost?” I had a really good job, with really good people but I would wake up in the morning and feel heavy, thinking I feel unhappy. I worked really hard to make myself like what I was doing but it just didn’t work. In the end I had to leave my job because it was making me so sick. Have you ever had a day where you think, is this it? Ever caught yourself with these questions running around and around in your head:
- What am I doing
- What type of life do I want to live
- How do I want to live it
- Is this all there is
If you are like me you are answering ‘yes’ to at least one of these, maybe more. It is a sure sign that something is not right in your world.
WHAT ARE YOU CRAZY ABOUT?
The first step to helping us decide what kind of life we want is developing a personal core values list, a set of rules and standards that we want to live our life by. You are trying to figure out what to do with your life. This list will be a list of the values, needs and desires that we hold most dear. It will be different for everyone but they are the things that are most important to us As an example, the things that are most important to me are; my children, my grandchildren and my family. Therefore ‘family would be high on my values list. One of our sayings when they were younger was “ I love you so much I would take a bullet for you”. It just means that we would give everything for each other. It is still true to this day.
Before we can start on our list we need to accept that we are amazing. Bruno Mars said it perfectly in his song ‘Just the way you are’ when he says “…….cause your amazing just the way you are.” You are amazing just the way you are and don’t you forget it. I don’t think we hear this enough in our day to day lives. For some reason we have a real problem telling each other how awesome we are. Acknowledging our greatness, creates positive energy and empowers us so that we can develop a personal core values list. It focuses our mind on what we value most, what we think we need and what we want to make us happy. All of these things are not negotiable if you want to know what you are crazy about.
HOW TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE.
Like a said we are trying to create a life you want. One that reflects all of your values, needs and desires. Have a look at the questions down below to help you put together a personal core values list.
- What are you passionate about?
- What do you want to achieve in life?
- What type of life do you want?
- How do you want to live?
- What makes you want to get up in the morning?
- What excites you?
One of the things that I found super helpful when I was doing this was a list of adjectives and characteristics that might help put together by James Clear at http://www.jamesclear.com/core-values. I hope that it helps you in answering the questions above. Let your intuition guide you here, so that you can pick the 10 – 15 that resonate most strongly with you or work out your own, its up to you. This is the list of your core values. It will guide you in identifying what you need and want so that you create a life for you. Congratulations!
Take the list of values and what you want and put them in your journal. Over time you will flesh them out and make them real for yourself. They will change and grow, as you grow and expand. Mine has evolved over time, some being added, some dropping off.