Everything that has happened to you before this time is in the ‘past’.     The past as defined by dictionary.com is (of a specified period of time) occurring before and leading up to the time of speaking or writing.     The past is the past, there is nothing you can do about this.   

It is common for people to advise that you forget the past because it is that – a part of history.    Your past is just a memory it only exists in your mind.    Like a dead weight, it can make moving forward or bouncing back more challenging.   

We all have to let go the past so that it’s influence on our lives ceases.     Doing this though might be harder than you think.     Learning how to let go of the past is a skill we could all benefit from but very rarely have access to.     What do I fear from the past is a question that we might pose.   


I actually believe that our problem as people is that we let our past affect us even when it is over.     As Richard Carlson says in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, ’ We allow past problems and future concerns to dominate our present moments, so much so that we end up anxious, frustrated, depressed and hopeless.’      Does this resonate with you?    Do you recognise any part as having happened in your life?     

No matter what you have done, good or bad, it is in the past and to all intents and purposes only exist in your memory.   There is absolutely nothing you can do to change what happened.   Your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual dynamic is changed by it, just as your decisions and actions now will shape your future.    

Moving passed what happened in the past is a challenge that we all have work through.    I can say with some confidence that I didn’t have the tools to do this on my own.    Events from my past, as far back as my childhood were still affecting how I behave as an adult.     Bad memories, injustices and hurt may dominate your memories and generate feelings of pain and regret.   


How to let go of the past?    In psychology, it is widely held that people are a product of all their yesterdays.   Therefore, to take a forward step, you are encouraged to look back.     A past event or situation may have been painful, traumatic or embarrassing and have long lasting ramifications.    


Right now we are going to talk about some things that might help you let go.     Here are 6 things that might help you do this.    Don’t forget to use the ones that work for you

  1. Accept the challenges of the past – revisit the events of the past that have shaped your life.    The event in as much detail as you can, the feelings that went with it and any actions that you may have taken
  2. Recognise how anxiety affects the brain – Name the feelings that are associated with the event.    Bring them into the light.
  3. Change your mindset and how you view your past – change your perspective on what happened.    Let the feelings and the thoughts that generated them just dissolve into the ether.    
  4. Keep a journal – Get a diary and right down what you think.    To see it written gives it a whole new perspective.   Look at it without judgement.   
  5. Find people to support you – It is always as good idea to share what you are thinking.   Sharing a problem halves it.    
  6. Learn to forgive – Arguably the hardest thing of all.    You have to acknowledge that you did the best you could and start acting according to your values and morals.    


The Present: The Gift of Here and Now

“The past is history–the future’s a mystery… the here-and-now is a gift.    That is why they call it ‘the present.'”     Whoever said this can’t be more right, after all your past is just a memory that can’t be changed anymore.    If there is anything you can do to improve your life, it is to make your present free from fears by addressing them as they arise and transform them into positive elements, shaping and impacting your future. 

To clear the paths and be able to live passionately and authentically, learn how to let go the past and how to let go of fear.    Most importantly, be mindful of the present because it is the gift of being here and now.    The present has the power to become the past, which can either inspire or damage you.    How you want your present to be, when it becomes a past, is in your power now – this is why the present is a gift.    Today you have the power to create a happy present – this is how you make peace with what will be the past.

I am hoping these ideas will help you get unstuck.    Then you can move on and let go of your past.    Maybe you don’t have to forget your past, just the way you think about it.     

Letting go of the past is an uphill climb. It means opening your heart, so that you can forgive yourself and others.   It means opening up your head, so you can understand more profoundly.    Letting go is about change, challenge and adjustment.    At its profoundest level, it can force you up against three powerful emotional drivers and barriers – rage, love, and fear. These feelings will challenge your logic and you will struggle against them.    When you learn to let go, however, the possibility of a new beginning can give you fresh hopes of a happier memory and a richer present and future.

What I want is for all of us to live a life filled with happiness and wonder.   I know for this to be a reality we have to cast aside all of the trappings of our past.    The feelings that are generated by bad memories can poison the rest of your life.   Don’t let them.     Take charge of your life, take control.   Don’t be driven where you don’t want to go.